Lately you hear more and more about Oprah Winfrey when she gives a talk somewhere, or conveys a message.
This is also interesting, because it fits with the striving for acknowledgement by each individual:
- Did you hear me?
- Did you see me?
- Does my message have meaning for you?
In other words: “Have you understood me? “, “Do you see who I am? ” and “Do I add value to you? “.
If there is a negative answer anywhere, a core of conflict arises.
Oprah also gives a generally known answer that you can do:
- Know who you are and what you want
- Be of service
- Always do the right thing
However true this is, it is only half of the story.
It is the extroverted approach, from you going out to others, if you risk getting into a conflict situation. It does not take away the source, but only tells you how to deal with it. Your maturity is growing. There is also a more introvert approach, to grow towards a more complete person.
Buddha teaches us that the source of all suffering is our attachment.
In general we translate this into attachment to goods, luxury, convenience, prosperity, property and so on. Of course that plays a role. But the deeper truth of Buddha’s teaching is that we should better not attach so much to our self-affirmation towards others. Or: give less weight to the aforementioned 3 questions. This requires a confrontation with yourself, and then a self-victory. Many people will therefore not choose this path, even if it brings more results.
Let go of your need for self-affirmation, and you’ll be truly free.