General questions

Does it cost something?

Most services are free. You can send me a donation via PayPal to keep this site free from advertisements and enable me to maintain this service (both hardware, software and running costs).

Only the personal program costs 50€ per month, to be paid in advance. A month counts until the same date one month later, for example from February 5th to March 5th. If you apply for such a program, I’ll send you further instructions regarding payment options.

See table below for details.

Who are your customers? Do you work for employers? Or organizations?

I primarily work for private clients.

Employers can refer employees to me for coaching, but I do not work on behalf of the employer. The client pays the bill, not the company. If applicable, the employer can reimburse the costs made.

I may consider special activities, not related to personal coaching, if that fits in my agenda. Usually that means working with groups, like lectures, training or workshop moderation. However, this in’t my core business.

What’s the difference between a coach, a trainer and a mediator? It seems that these words are used together. Is there a distinction?

You can see it as roles someone can play. A role as a coach, as a trainer or as a mediator. It is always good to keep an eye on what role dominates. My advice is to separate them strictly!

  • A coach will help you find and implement a solution yourself.
  • A trainer will teach you the right skills to handle special situations.
  • A mediator focuses on a conflict that you have with someone else.

I focus on coaching, although it may be required to bring you some skills or make conflicts clear.

Is working with a coach confronting? I’m not someone who easily talks about myself. Maybe I do not like to share very personal things with a stranger.

We all know that feeling! Everyone asks for a little privacy. Nobody wants to publicize his personal affairs

In the first place, a coach always works on a trust basis. A coach may not damage the trust put in him or her, nor shall share or use information for any purpose other than you consented.

Apart from that, it’s my experience with many other people that just talking about your own theme is the first threshold you must overcome. And that works very liberating, as if there is a burden lifted off your shoulders.

But a coach always tries to encourage you to get more information from yourself and your environment. Stimulate you not to take everything for granted. Sometimes a coach notes an unconscious resistance in you, which you obviously suffer from, and so  he / she will get involved. Not to hurt you, but to help you get a different viewing angle, making things a lot easier. This can be confronting for you, but it’s just as difficult for the coach!

Are there any differences between the coaches who offer their services? I see so many offers everywhere. How should I choose which coach is the best for me?

Most importantly, you should feel a “click” with your coach. If they publish on the internet, you’ll notice that quickly. Some also hold presentations, or have a YouTube channel with movies. There is always an opportunity to see whether or not a collaboration can lead to the desired outcome through a first conversation.

In addition, most coaches have one or more specializations. There are life coaches that focus on your general well-being and daily life questions. Or career pursuits that help you shape your professional life. There are those that help you learn and study more effectively, or who focus on relationships. There are really a lot, and it seems difficult to choose. However, a good coach can switch to your need, or refer you to a colleague who is more specialized in your theme. The most important thing, however, remains the click with your coach!

At ReRuBab’s e-Coaching, I do not specialize in special topics at all.

I try to help people take a small threshold, but then the right one. I focus on developing your inner strength, allowing you to follow your own path, even if things get complicated temporarily.

What is coaching? I know it from the sports world, but what is coaching in daily life? Why it exists?

Coaching is a process where someone else helps you to get the most out of yourself. That’s not really different from sport. There too, the coach is along the side of the playing field, and from a distance sees things that the athlete does not see in the heath of the game. That can be peculiar opponent’s patterns, or attempts by you that run out of order every time. Usually a coach has built up enough experience to come up with hints and tips, which helps you to learn something.

Coaching informally takes place in many situations. For example, between friends, or at work between boss and employee or among employees too. Usually this is enough for you.

If, despite this informal coaching, you still have the idea that you can not put that extra step, and that troubles you, then I recommend that you turn on a professional coach. It is often much more effective than struggling with yourself for years to come.

What is e-Coaching? How is e-Coaching different from ordinary coaching? What can I expect?

e-Coaching is a dialogue with a coach over the internet. You use email and chat, and you can share files, such as photos, videos and stories or articles.

Characteristic of e-Coaching is that you always work remotely. It is not tied to time or place, as long as you have an internet connection and of course a PC, tablet or smartphone.

Manual

I lost my password. Now what?

Visit the link in the main menu:

 

Fill out the form, and you’ll receive an email with instructions.

How do I log on to the site?

Either visit the link in the main menu, or go to the login area in the sidebar:

Fill out the form, or take the social account you used to register yourself.

How do I register myself?

Registration is needed to add comments in the blog or participate in the forum.

You find the register-links in the main menu:

From there you enter the form:You can register for a local account, upon which you’ll receive an email to confirm your registration. You can also register yourself with one of the given social IDs, in which case you are accepted automatically. The reCAPTCHA is only required when registering for a local account.

 

How to apply for e-Coaching services?

 

Use this link to the self-explanatory application form.

 

Personal program

Do I have to do all phases with ReRuBabs e-Coaching? Or can I stop whenever I want?

After each phase you get the question what you want to do:

  • repeat the phase (to edit more depth)
  • to the next phase (for the next step)
  • stop (and independently search your way)

You are completely free to decide what you want. That really depends on you and the problems you tackle. Sometimes an eye-opener is enough, sometimes you need more help with making choices or using methods and models. Other times people sense a growth process in themselves, and feel somewhat uncertain; a coach can be a stable companion in such a phase of your life.

 

And when stopping you get the question whether that is temporary or not. In the latter case, I will delete all your data from my server.

What’s that project phase (5)?

If, after all the information, priorities, choices and plans you still need guidance in execution, I’ve set up a project environment for you.

Simply stated: in a project you work on a structured way on solving things. A project makes sure you don’t forget what you found out earlier. It gives you means to collect and store new information. It even helps you to change plans based on new insights. The way I’ve implemented it, it’s an intensive and highly interactive activity, for which you need sufficient time and attention.

A project is executed in blocks of 1 week. Multiple blocks are possible, but it’s in your own (cost) interest to limit the amount of weeks needed!

To assist our communication during the project, we’ll use kanban boards. That’s a method of storing notes on issues and actions, moving them step by step until completed. Take a look at these images; additional info is in there! In the project you will be able to shift notes, add comments and attachments etc. Keep in mind that there can be many more notes on the boards; they will all be positioned underneath each other. I think you’re gonna like this method!

START-panel: collected history (background and details) and selected issues.

ACTION-panel: tasks derived from your selected issues, and the status of execution.

KANBAN board: similar as action-panel; includes the evaluation phase to see if the results are as expected.

 

Phase 4: the video chat…

One more critical item remains in the whole process: the plan.

Often people have the right topics to work on, but use the wrong approach. Or they schedule the wrong order of actions.
To avoid that from happening, the audio or video chat is needed, so I can guide you through this process.

We can do this via video (by now we know each other well enough, I think). Only audio also is possible. And if you really don’t feel like talking to me (because of language or some other personal reason), we can do an online chat session instead.

Most important is that we know what to work on, what to achieve (when will you be happy?) and create a first view on how to approach things.

What happens during the online chat session (phase 3)?

During the half an hour online chat you’ll make choices out of the priorities from the previous phase.

An online chat session is very good to challenge you not to choose the easy way. It’s like a face-2-face talk, but now on remote locations. The thing is: making the wrong choices now will make you continue on the wrong topics and with false goals. That leads to disappointment, and that I want to prevent above all!

On the other hand: we should not make this decision process too long. That’s not effective nor efficient.

What’s happening during phase 2: the offline chat session?

Starting point is the previous email session, where we collected enough information. Maybe even too much, so you have to rethink what you discovered and look what’s more important and what’s urgent (two different things!). The offline chat session goes faster than emailing, but gives you enough time to recap and think. Every day you receive at least one message from me to help you go through this filtering process. After one week you have structured everything pretty well, and created a few focus areas.

What happens during the email session (phase 1)?

Email is suitable for large amounts of texts, and because of the draft option: you write something down, save it as draft, review it later and after adaptation, send it to me.

That’s why email is used to collect information about backgrounds and details of the issues you work on.

To make that information as complete as possible, and to help you better understand yourself, my answers will be filled with comments and questions. That should make you think again, and as result you send me new information.

I assume 5 steps (or 5 answer emails from me) is enough. If not, well… let’s discuss! The reason for the number “5” is in the “5-Why” methodology: to really understand the root cause of an issue, only 5 well targeted “why?” questions are needed. See Wikipedia.

Or watch this video:

Why is there a 5 phase approach?

My observation is that people always follow certain steps in reaching a goal:

  1. Collect & understand information
  2. Sort and prioritize information
  3. Make choices and decide
  4. Make a plan
  5. Execute that plan (and regularly look back to the previous steps)

I know some people think they can skip steps. Some who did so experienced how difficult that is (and they had to redo those steps skipped after all, which is very frustrating). Some who succeed usually already have plenty of information or know what to do and why.

During coaching sessions people move around in unknown territory. They may be blind for things that could help them. To ensure success, I follow these 5 steps. And I use the internet communication media on their strength for each phase.

User questions

Why do you use your own chat server? There are also very good options with Skype, Hangouts, WhatsApp and so forth.

Well… there’s only one simple reason: privacy and confidentiality.

Behind it there’s more, like the pragmatic reason that I don’t want to have so many chat accounts (I’m also concerned about MY OWN privacy, you know…).

My chat option is fully web-based, and therefore accessible from any device that has a browser and is connected to the internet. That also gives you some freedom: you don’t need to stick to one personal gadget to chat with me; via the site you can easily log in from a hotel lobby, internet café or wherever you are.

When you decide to stop completely with my e-Coaching services, I’ll delete your history (including the chats). Here you can be sure that EVERYTHING is deleted completely. Apart from your privacy, I also have a pragmatic reason to do that: I want to limit the storage occupation on my servers. So having my own chat server is a fair and useful compromise.

How does this website work?

The ReRuBabs e-Coaching website is a layered membership site. That means that I’ll maintain user profiles to grant access to information blocks. The reason I do that is twofold:

  1. I want to prevent a very complex website with an excess of information for visitors who just look around (but also for people in the process: there’s no need to read more than what’s relevant for you)
  2. There’s a stepwise flow in my e-Coaching approach, that is supported by a proper design of the website. For that reason I’m shielding off big parts of the site if you’re not (yet) entitled to see it.

Here are the main user profiles:

  • visitor: reads blog, forum and Q&A
  • subscriber: has an account on the site and can add blog comments and participate in the forum
  • member: is registered on the site, and submitted the application form for e-coaching services, and can submit an order form (at the same time: a payment form)
  • e-mail, offline, online, video and project: give access to respective coaching modules and tools; the general concept is that you can look backward (to earlier phases) but not forward. Status changes are initiated by order / payment form submission.

I’ll do all the administration for you based on our communication. You’ll just notice that more and more of the site will be revealed to you over time.

When I’m past phase 1 (the e-mail session), can I never use email again for e-coaching?

Ofcourse you can!

You can always send me a mail at any moment in time, during whatever phase you’re in!

Example: during the offline chat session you feel you need to explain a bit more than is convenient in a chat window. Just let me know, and write a mail instead.

Other example: after the video session you still have doubts and want to provide more details. Just send me an email!

Depending on the situation I’ll reply via email, or I’ll use the information in the communication media of that particular phase.

How anonymous I am during a coaching session?

I only ask for a username (to which I also address you) and a valid email address (which I use to communicate with you) so you can assume a completely different virtual identity compared to the person you actually are.

I do not ask for your real names and your address and so on. Even if you pay online, I’m not 100% sure that you also own the accounts you use (someone else can pay on behalf of you – and others). You can protect your IP address with a VPN connection. So you are a rather unknown person to me.

We get to know each other better during the sessions. I can only respond to what you write to me, and if I see inconsistencies in it, I will say so. So if you pretend otherwise than you really are, and I notice that later during a session, I will report it, but not condemn it. Apparently you had a reason for that, and maybe that reason is part of the problem …

After the sessions, I will delete all your data, except for the financial transaction (which I must keep for 7 years). But there is nothing personal in it about you.

Generally, I always state that ultimately nobody can remain anonymous on the internet. If enough time and money is spent on the research, your shadow really comes to the surface. I do not need that anyway, and I certainly do not have the time / resources for it!

How do I recognize my login status?

You can check your status in the sticky menu on top of your screen and in the right-hand column next to all other pages (where you also see the picture of your e-Coach).

If you like,  you can update your public profile.

Your site role is not relevant to you. I only use it to steer the online process.

Can I post messages on the blog?

No, you can not post messages on the blog. The forum has been set up for this.

If you still want to share a story, please contact me. Perhaps you can contribute as a guest author!

Of course you can leave blog comment on the site!

What about logging in and registration?

I only want real people on this site. Even if you have a virtual identity … you have to be from flesh and blood, and interested in the topics listed on this site.

That’s why you have to log in to be able to contribute on the site. If you remain anonymous, you can only read.

If you also want to use e-Coaching services, privacy matters come into play too.

That is why registration is mandatory, and I have taken various security measures to keep spam bots out of the door. That is also for your safety!

And logon and registration is very easy with your existing (or just created) social accounts. I appreciate “likes” and “shares” because they are good for my website.