A coach helps someone to keep both the overview over and to better understand the details of his or her situation. Many people first look around for causes and things can be identified to be “guilty” of the situation that has arisen. You should not to stick to that. Referring to Timothy Gallwey and his principles around “The Inner Game”, the problems we face are not so much to blame to external factors. Of course you often have no control over the disturbing circumstances that occur to you. But whether that causes a problem or not, primarily depends on your own perception. Your biases, beliefs and expectations, your likes and dislikes and your personal skills define how well you get along with the outside world.
This doesn’t say that YOU are the problem, though! There are many reasons why certain events may cause troubles to you. They push you into an unfamiliar situation. You haven’t been there before, so you don’t know yet how to tackle the issues. That’s okay… We’re all on an educational path through life. To me that journey is all that matters, not the anticipated destinations. I notice that people do recognize the big issues, but in practice often stumble on many small roadblocks. To make those clear, decide which are most important to deal with and bring everything in the right proportions again usually is enough to solve the situation. Even big issues in life seem hopeless because of these many other small obstacles around. Therefore it’s important to “pick your battles“!
I now have to think of events like an “obstacle run” or a “mud master run”. You’ve probably seen that: people who take a course with all sorts of obstacles along the way, often with water and sand (okay, mud), where you literally have to push your boundaries to reach the finish. A popular tool is a pile of car tires. One car tire is no problem. A row of car tires usually also not. But a huge and long randomly stacked pile… that is a problem! Especially if you see a wet climbing wall ahead …
So it often goes with problems that we encounter in life. The real big problem is a bit further away, and we may not even have seen it well, because we are distracted by the many small obstacles that together already seem insurmountable.
Through a holistic perspective you can get a better insight into your own situation. The logo of “ReRuBabs e-Coaching” presents all elements that make things a bit complicated. Your brain rationalizes everything, and your heart tends to react with conflicting emotions. Both deal with the outside world. Sometimes it’s hard to connect these 3 elements in a clear way. Yet you can go a long way yourself by studying 3 questions in view of the possibly unspoken expectations you and the others around you have:
- Why do my brains come with this explanation?
- Why does my heart react in this way?
- How does the world around me experience me?
Feel free to contact me if you want to put this into practice!